When I saw that my next post was scheduled to go up the first week of June, I started thinking about what I could do to tie in Pride, knowing that I would likely need to coordinate with Spencer because he tends to be our specialist in covering monthly observances. At the same time, my attention was drawn by a conversation on Twitter about conversations that LGBQTIA+ folk wished they could stop having to have and “A is not for ally” was one of the responses. Which got me thinking about allyship as a concept. AND THEN I started thinking about conversations I’ve had with friends who identify as queer, about how some of the things happening in the world make it harder to feel super celebratory this Pride month (you know the things, you have a news feed, too.) And this post is a response to how all of those things come together for me.
So, let me start with: There actually was a time when the A was used to stand for “ally.” There was a marketing campaign in 2015 in which GLAAD (an LGBTQ advocacy organization) specifically stated that “A is for Ally” (and also advocate and action) which caused an uproar within the community resulting in an apology and an acknowledgement of the fact that allies should not be included in the umbrella term. The most important reason “ally” didn’t belong in the umbrella term was that assigning the “A” to allies made a part of the community that had a claim on the letter A invisible.
And so, in the current usage of LGBTQIA+, which is the umbrella grouping that JCLS tends to use, the A is for asexual/ace, aromantic/aro, and agender. In a nutshell, these identities encompass folks who (in the same order as the previous list) do not experience sexual attraction, romantic attraction, or identify with the concept of gender. As with so many terms tied to queer identities, these identities fall on a spectrum. As with all sexual identities, the people who apply these terms choose the terms that best fit themselves, which means they may have layers of meaning. But, at the end of the day, people who apply these terms to themselves have significant commonalities in experience and find common ground. If you want to learn more about “ace” identities, AVEN is a good site to explore. AVEN is primarily focused on asexuality, but they are a good place to start. I’ve also put together a list of books featuring Ace characters!
About allyship: I’ve been attending a training at which the word “ally” was defined as “to cause a ruckus and then pass the mic” (Dr. Laura Jimenez). I really love this definition because it makes it clear that it is the job of the ally to help support and hold space for the voices that are the most important to the conversation, and when the term “ally” is applied to you, then your voice is definitionally NOT the voice that needs to be centered. At the end of the day, the important thing to remember is that “ally” is a verb…and our actions, not our words, define whether we are an ally or not. So it’s really important for those of us who want to be seen as allies to earn that term. GLAAD has this handy list of actions that allies can take all the time to be of support to LGBTQIA+ individuals.
And finally—
To everyone who cares about the wellbeing of LGBTQIA+ individuals — which, let’s be honest, should be everyone — now, more than ever, let your actions show your support this month and every month.
To everyone who needs that support this month, there are places to go and the library is one of them. But always remember that The Trevor Project exists!
Oh, and now I’m gonna pass the mic to my colleague Spencer who will undoubtedly have some wisdom to drop when his post comes around!